Choice — Manage By Play Consulting

Hi Players,

It is going to be a long blog so please bear with me.

I have spent 16 days in China, whose culture was inspired by the wisdom of Confucius, Lao Tzu, and Buddha.

China is a captivating fusion of ancient traditions and modern innovations, a sight to behold.

Lao Tzu said that the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

This trip was my first step to taking a small bite and tasting China.

We traveled to Beijing, Zhangjiajie, Xi’an, Guilin, and Shanghai (due to the size of China required four domestic flights). If you want to experience China, consider allowing much more time.

It was the first time, after 27 years, that I joined an organized trip.

An organized trip means traveling with 25 strangers and a guide who orchestrates the experience minute by minute.

I usually prefer to travel alone with family or close friends, and we plan everything according to our tastes, preferences, and pace (I am doing it my way…)

I was told China is different.

It is very hard to travel alone since the Chinese rarely speak English, all the signs are in Chinese, and in some places, entrance is restricted if you are not accompanied by a local guide.

In short, traveling alone in China is a recipe for disaster. (It turned out to be an accurate description.).

As a result, I searched for a tour that best suited my interests, considering that my choices would be limited.

This meant that my freak-control self would also have to take a vacation and practice patience.

I knew I would always have to be on time and follow instructions. That is EASY PIZZY.:) (at least the first part, as you will soon find out)

To sweeten the unfamiliar experience, I was joined by a good friend of mine for 30- -ish years to make sure I would behave…She did a great job 🙂

The adventure began in Beijing.

After a 10-hour flight, we arrived in the city in the early morning. We had a full day, including a visit to the emperor's summer palace and the temple of heaven and riding a rickshaw through the narrow streets that once surrounded the forbidden city, where the palace officials resided ( “hutong”).

After 24 hours without proper sleep, my first night in Beijing was awful. I hardly slept, vomited a few times, and the next morning, I was very weak. I admit It was a poor beginning for the trip.

Although I was upset, I know things always happen for a reason.

It was a message from my body. Take it easy. You are going through change. It’s a different time zone, and the air is more polluted. Remember, you are on vacation. Slow down.

Usually, I push myself to do more but often ignore the physical sighs and bring my body to exhaustion. This time, my body had decided for me. I had to listen.

The next day, we visited the Great Wall of China, a man-made stone barrier, approx. 6300 km long (3,400 miles).

It was an impressive monument. My primary intention was to climb as much as possible in the time we had, but I was too weak after my sleepless night.

My friend suggested that I stay in the hotel to rest, but staying was not an option. If I make it so far, I will not miss one of the world’s wonders.

Stubbornness can be a curse or a blessing. It paid off this time.

I had a different experience.

I was walking slowly, breathing deeply, and sliding on the metal handrails of the wall (I am not sure they were meant to be used as a slide).

I embraced fully the awesomeness of the wall, not through my feet as I usually do but through my other senses. It was a Great Wonder.

We spent more time in Beijing, visiting the Forbidden City, the 798 Art Zone with its galleries, the famous Tiananmen Square, and the food market,

which is a place where the adventurous eater can taste deep-fried insects. I just watched…

At the end of our stay in Beijing, the paradox of what I think about my freedom of choice dawned on me.

A few things sparked the thought:

The limited choice that was given to me by my body made me change my initial plan.
The communist regime of China’s decision to limit what I consider to be the fundamental right of a human being -the right to bear children.
In 1979, the Chinese family was limited to having only one child (this limitation was gradually canceled in 2015).
The visit to the Forbidden City—a city that the emperor was never allowed to leave freely and where he was surrounded and watched 24/7 by his servants for his protection,
even when he made love to his wives and mistresses.
When we exited the temple of heaven, we saw a crowd standing outside. It was a “matchmaking” event, an old tradition.
Chinese parents come together and display their son or daughter’s picture on the ground with some information ( height, weight, education, and traits) in the hope of finding a suitable match.
If the parents greet, the children will meet.
The children are not forced to marry according to their parents' choice, but their opinion is highly appreciated. We saw a few “deals” in action, and maybe wedding bells are already ringing.

All This made me realize that none of us, even those who live in a democracy, have a full free choice, although it feels like we do.

We are all born into a tribe that has rules, traditions, and unwritten laws that we are expected to follow.

We basically share an invisible cage.

The only difference between us is the size or the looks of the cage. Some, like the emperor, have a big golden cage, but it is still a cage.

Nevertheless, no matter the circumstances, one choice can never be taken from us. It is our attitude.

We can always choose our attitude. Unfortunately, we can’t choose the world we wake up to every day; the question is what we will do with what we are given.

We left Beijing and flew to Zhangjiajie, which is home to the fairyland of Mt Tiananmen (http://www.tianmenshan.com.cn/index.php?m=En&a=index) and the amazing natural beauty of the Zhangjiajie National Forest Park (http://www.zjjpark.com/).

This forest inspired the movie “Avatar”.

We hopped on a cable car that took us right to the top, and from there, we walked on a paved path that had a small, beautiful glass skywalk.

The weather was cloudy, so I felt like walking in an enchanted forest—a truly magical experience.

The way down the mountain was very easy .

We went down through several escalators carved into the mountain (an impressive display of infrastructure).

At the very last escalator, one could choose to take it or walk down 1000 stairs to the bottom.

Honestly, I didn’t plan to walk the stairs. I was already too tired from the walk, but when I stood at the top, I felt an unexplained urge to walk.

I can tell you it was not reasonable.

The stairs were narrow, wet, and slippery. I was the first one to go, and then four others from the group joined me.

Walking down was terrific—it was almost like flying. When I reached the bottom, it was inspiring to look up and see the path I had walked.

I felt fulfilled,competent, and joyful.

Sometimes we overthink our options , trying to be rational and end up missing great adventures.

This experience taught me that I should listen more to my intuition and stop analyzing every single thing.

Following intuition can be much more rewarding.

The Zhangjiajie National Forest Park (“Avatar” forest).

I was speechless. I was totally in awe. I think that no photo (and I took many …) can grasp the beauty of this place.

It is breathtaking.

After a 15-minute ride in a cable car and an additional 30-minute shuttle, we were at what appeared to be the top and started walking in the forest.

Although all the paths were paved, the walk was relatively hard and required climbing up and down numerous steep stairs.

After an hour or so, a few people complained that we were wasting our time since the views looked very similar.

My inner judger immediately took action.” I knew it! Taking an organized group tour was a mistake. People always complain.”

One lady in particular complained more than others. “Why couldn’t she stay on the bus and let us enjoy our day peacefully?” my inner judger kept talking.

As it turned out, my initial judgment was completely off the mark.

Later on, I discovered that a few years back, the “complaining” lady had suffered a terrible accident.

She fell from a staircase one floor high and was severely injured. She is still recovering from the trauma.

I was too fast to judge.

Maybe her complaint was a different expression of fear.

Sometimes, it is easier to “complain” than say, “I am afraid I need your help.”

I was reminded that everyone has a story you know nothing about.

Even if you think you know his story, you have never walked in his shoes.

As Dr. Brene Brown suggests,

always choose the kinder approach and assume that people do the best they can. Be humble. It is the human thing to do.

We finished the amazing day at the Zhangjiajie Grand Canyon Glass Bridge, which is the longest and highest glass bridge in the world, designed by Haim Dotan.

Haim is an Israeli architect who lives in China. When Haim was young, he applied but was not accepted to the Israeli Institute of Technology in Haifa, so he left Israel and studied in California.

The rest is history. He is well known for his work around the world. The rejection from Haifa has shaped his life.

Life works in mysterious ways. When one door closes, let go, and let it close; maybe something much better awaits you.

As usual, I had my play time on the bridge , jumping on the glass , totally ignoring my fear of heights.

The next stop was X’ian. It was already mid-trip, and the fatigue was rising.

The plan was to spend some time in the city and then hiking on Huashan Mountain. (https://www.travelchinaguide.com/attraction/shaanxi/xian/mt_huashan.htm) .

This mountain has five peaks. One of the peaks is considered very dangerous to walk, so it was off our agenda.

Our guide, who was very attentive to everyone’s needs, knew that a few options should be presented to accommodate every need.

She suggested three options: one for experienced walkers, an easier path,

and staying and enjoying the city of X`ian (a pleasant and welcoming city primarily famous for its Terracotta army sculptures excavation site ).

One of the group members asked the guide, “Tell me what I am going to miss if I don’t go on the hike ?” The guide said, “

The options cannot be compared; you have to make your own choice.” I thought it was a wise answer

We often compare our choices based on a “lose or gain” scale, but most of life's choices, especially the hard ones, cannot be measured in these terms.

I suddenly remembered a TED talk I heard given by the philosopher Ruth Chang (https://www.ted.com/talks/ruth_chang_how_to_make_hard_choices#t-806679)

Ruth argues that our thinking about choice is wrong. She says choosing an option is about more than weighing the options and finding reasons to choose one option over the other.

It’s about creating the reason to choose it; it’s about deciding who I am and what I stand for and exercising the option that most represents who I am or who I want to become.

Without any hesitation, I chose option 1.

I want to be the person who takes any challenge and uses any opportunity to test my abilities and expand my comfort zone. My choice was the right one for me.

I had fun, and it was easier than I expected. The view was beautiful. The challenge becomes more manageable when we fully embrace our choices without regret.

How do you make your choices?

Next stop. Guilin and the village of Yangshuo.

We enjoyed the enormous mountains, the lake, the beautiful rice terraces, the local farmers market, a visit to the long hair tribe ( who are known for their habit of pinching men’s butt ), the excellent show “Impressions” that was directed by Zhang Yimou who also directed the opening ceremony of the Olympic games held in Beijing in 2008.

I have noticed that whenever we had to wait in a queue in China, I was overwhelmed by Chinese behavior.

They pushed us to be the first in line and always left before the show ended. I thought It was very rude, so we asked our local guide about this phenomenon.

She explained that due to the bad economy and scarcity in the past, the elders always pushed to be first, driven by the fear of missing something.

Now, the habits remain the same even when the situation is better.

An Israeli cannot be intimidated by rudeness (it takes one to know one), so we just had to push harder. So we did…:)

The time in Guilin was flying fast.

Our final destination. Shanghai.

I felt like I was back in NYC. The city has everything

High rises, beautiful skyline, brand name shops, and great restaurants. It is a city to remember. We had only two days. I needed much more.

Last but not least…Do you remember I mentioned something about following instructions?

So, we had two minor events. We were given some free time to walk independently and regroup by a certain time.

We didn’t find our group (for various reasons, not necessarily our fault) and missed the time we had to regroup.

I will not go into details; they are not necessary.

What was important was the group's reaction when we were late. (After all, we wasted other people's precious time.)

They were kind and showed genuine compassion. Their generosity touched me.

I want to end the journey with one of my favorite Confucius quotes to remind me what it means to be human.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.

It was another playful experience. There are many more to come.

Playfully yours,

Rina:)

China. Thoughts about choices and more..

Slovenia/Croatia or What Shapes your world?

Berlin- Breaking our walls